Today in Mitt Romney Stands in Front of Something

image of Mitt Romney writing in a book at a campaign event in front of a huge flag, to which I have added text reading: ' jar of M&M's with the greens taken out, and one giant flag.'

Also among Mitt Romney's appearance rider: A gold-plated bidet, a 1987 edition of Monopoly, and at least one year's worth of back issues of Boy's Life magazine.

Big News today! Rand Paul has endorsed Mitt Romney. I hate to say it, y'all, but his son endorsing Mitt Romney while his dad's still technically running for president does bolster the terrible case for Ron Paul being dead.

image from Weekend at Bernie's in which I have replaced the actors with Paul, Santorum, and Gingrich, and Santorum is throwing his voice so that it appears Paul is saying 'I'm not dead!'

I don't know, y'all. I'm not convinced. I really hope that Ron Paul is just keeping busy building a rocketship out of first editions of Atlas Shrugged to take his libertarian pilgrims to their tax-free space paradise. No Big Government on Planet Freedom 4 Realz.

In other news, Mitt Romney has a promise for you: "As your president, starting on day one, I will do everything in my power to end these days of drift and disappointment. I will not be that president of doubt and desperation. I will lead us to a better place."

I'm worried about Mitt Romney, Shakers. Someone check on Mitt Romney and make sure he knows he's not running against George Bush.

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