A Message From The Future

[Content note for homophobia, racism.]

Is this real? I don't know. Maybe. Poe's law isn't helping. This purports to be from Page A19 of the June 14, 2012 edition of the La Jolla Light:

What is the definition of marriage?

It is now the year 2065. Chester Allman has just returned from the Moon Colony and makes his way back to his family's home in California. He is met at the door by his 30-year-old grandson, Michael, and Michael's five wives. Chester is bewildered and asks Michael for an explanation.

His grandson explains, "Remember back in the early century when several states changed the definition of marriage? They changed the law by legalizing marriage between two men or two women. Our two-century old definition of marriage was tossed aside. The precedent opened an easy way to further change the definition of marriage, to allow union between one man and two wives, then one woman and two husbands, and after that all hell broke loose! Nobody keeps track anymore."

Noting his grandfather's horrified look, Michael continues, "Why did you guys change things in the first place? Don't you see what damage you did? You should have kept it the way it was!"

"I can't believe all this is happening," Chester says, "but I'm tired and hungry."

"Sorry, Grandpa," Michael replies, "but food is scarce because of the atomic bombing. We have only intravenous feeding at breakfast and lunch."

Chester sighs, "What does your President have to say about all this?"

"You aren't up on the news, are you? Haven't you heard that our President is an American Indian and has put all of us whites on reservations?"

Chester angers, swears and turns to leave. Michael reaches out to detain him. "Wait, Grandpa! Wait! Where are you going?"

Chester calls over his shoulder, "I'm going to catch the next shuttle back to the Moon!"

Patricia Weber
La Jolla resident since 1953

Ummm... What? I don't know.

BUT!: Chester ALL-MAN! Moon bases! Atomic bombs! "Whites on reservations"! Is this an episode of The Twilight Zone? (No, that was better written.)

Why don't they have Fox News on the moon? (Or any news for that matter?) If Michael hates polygamy why does he have five wives? Is this set on one of those white reservations? What is the deal with the atomic bombs?

Patricia, really, you should have workshopped this more. Just sayin'. Also, you seem like kind of an ass.

UPDATE: This appears to be real. Thanks, aphra!

[Cross-posted on my moon base.]

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