"Yes, hello, is this the Complaint Line? I have a complaint I'd like to make about a dog who keeps sniffing my ass despite my most fervent hissing protestations. Also, she continually steals my spot next to Two-Legs! The wanton thievery of this usurping interloper forces me to sit on THE OTHER SIDE of Two-Legs, which, yes, I will begrudgingly admit, is just as good, but that is NOT THE POINT."
"I have no idea who or what she is talking about." *wink*
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