Film Corner!

Below is the trailer for Young Adult, written by Diablo Cody and starring Charlize Theron, the IMDb description of which is: "Soon after her divorce, a fiction writer returns to her home in small-town Minnesota, looking to rekindle a romance with her ex-boyfriend, who is now married with kids." (Ha ha I will never stop loving the film trope that all female writers are dangerously crazy!) On the film poster, Theron is dressed in pink sweatpants, her high school boyfriend's green gym hoodie, and a Hello Kitty t-shirt, carrying two pink bags, atop one of which sits a tiny white fluffy dog. In pink text, it reads: "Everyone gets old. Not everyone grows up. A bit of baggage this December." Ooooooof.

As always, this might be a great movie. But the marketing for it sure doesn't make it look like one.

Charlize Theron, dressed in sweats and hoodie, stands at the counter in the lobby of a hotel. A young white woman behind the counter welcomes her and asks if she has a reservation. CT says no and hands her a credit card. Doggy noises emanate from within the pink bag she has sat on the counter. "Is that a dog in your bag?" "Nope." "We actually allow small pets with a cleaning deposit." "Good, because I have a small dog in my vehicle." Yiiiiiiiiiiikes.

David Bowie's "Queen Bitch" begins to play. Sad times.

CT meets Patton Oswalt, former classmate, in a bar. He asks her if she's moved back to town. "Of course not. Gross." Various scenes of CT getting ready, putting on a wig, going out, drinking, breakfast at her parents', seeing a classmate's baby, attending a party, hugging someone, getting glared at judgmentally. Another woman calls her a "psychotic prom queen bitch." In other words, the usual pointless montagery that establishes nothing besides the fact that this is, indeed, a movie with multiple scenes in it.

Text onscreen reads: "The girl you HATED in high school is BACK."

CT and Patton Oswalt talk in the bar parking lot. "Here's the deal," she tells him. "Buddy Slade and I are meant to be together, and I'm here to get him back." Oswalt replies, "I'm pretty sure he's married with a kid on the way." She says she doesn't care. He advises her to get therapy. She snorts derisively. Oh boy.

More montagery. She calls a baby ugly, gets her nails done, makes a scowly face, does shots with Buddy Slade, gets wine spilled on her white blouse at a baby shower (I think), is told "you are a piece of work" by Patton Oswalt, shops at Macys for a dress to make Buddy Slade's wife jealous.

This movie definitely has many scenes of Charlize Theron acting like a real asshole! And getting karmically punished for being an asshole! And acting like an asshole some more because she's not getting the memo from the universe! If you like seeing stupid assholes doing stupid asshole things, there is a good chance this movie is for you!

To Buddy Slade, who by the way is played by Patrick Wilson, whose ass you may have seen in Little Children, Charlize Theron says: "You can come to the city with me, like we always planned." He replies incredulously, "Mavis, I'm a married man!" She is not defeated: "I know! We can beat this thing TOGETHER!" He looks back at her and sighs like she is a stupid asshole. Because she is.

The one good thing about this trailer is that I don't need to see the movie. Because now I know that her crackpot scheme fails and she is shot down by Buddy Slade and all that's left to find out is whether she finally grows up, and, as it turns out, I don't fucking care. The End!

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