Film Corner!

From the makers of Superbad, a comedy about cancer! 50/50 stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a dude with cancer, and Seth Rogen as his BFF who will totes help him exploit his cancer to get laid. No, seriously.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt tells Seth Rogen that he has cancer: "They found it yesterday." SethRo is stricken: "They found it yesterday?! Who found it?" JGL retorts: "My cleaning lady found it in the back of my jeans. Who do you think found it?" Ho ho! Very good cancer joke, based on the very real situation in which you tell your friend that you have cancer and your friend definitely wants to know who made the diagnosis.

True Fact: Jokes by privileged straight white male characters containing the words "my cleaning lady" are automatically ten times funnier.

Wait, no, not funnier. BAAAAAAARRRRRRRFier.

SethRo tries to cheer up JGL by reminding him of all the famous dudes who have beat cancer, like Lance Armstrong and Dexter. I guess that pep talk didn't help, because JGL goes to see a therapist played by Up in the Air's Anna Kendrick who is having a nice little career so far playing competent, professional women who privileged straight white male characters think are too young to be doing their jobs (but maybe she can teach them something about LIFE!).

He asks her how old she is and she says 24, to which he replies, "So you're like Doogie Howser?" Good joke, because he was a teenager, so that totally makes sense. She doesn't know who Doogie Howser is. (Don't 24-year-olds know who Doogie Howser is? I consult with a 22-year-old who assures me he knows who Doogie Howser is.) JGL tells her he's a teenage doctor, and because she is from Planet Zuh, Dr. Anna Kendrick asks, "Does he work here?" CLASSIC!

JGL gives a wry grin that is supposed to convey that he is Getting Older and Kids These Days or whatever, but he is only 30 in real life and is playing a 27-year-old in the movie and looks like he's 17 (like Doogie Howser: Teenager), so nothing is making any sense.

Surely if it was important to have this scene of Doogie Howser-related existential crisis (in case the CANCER weren't enough), someone other than JGL should be playing this role. Someone who is maybe 47, and looks at least 37, and is playing a character of 42, so feeling dubious about his 24-year-old psychologist would marginally make sense from an age standpoint, despite still being needlessly prejudiced.

Anyway! I am thinking about this scene and how stupid it is way too much!

JGL doesn't want his mother to move in just because he has cancer. He does, however, want to shave his head. He borrows SethRo's shaver, which whoooooooops he uses to trim body hair uh-oh pubes good lord am I really watching this?

Montagery. JGL is having a nervous breakdown and calls Dr. Anna Kendrick. JGL tells SethRo he's got a 50/50 chance of survival. SethRo tells him: "That's not that bad. If you were a casino game, you'd have the best odds." 70s music. (Arthur Lee's "Everybody's Got to Live," which is so the best thing about this trailer. You deserve more, Arthur Lee's song!) Knit caps. Bro-hugs. SethRo tells JGL that girls will "go for" him because he has cancer. He walks up to girls in a club and says, "I have cancer." They look at him like he is a gross creep. SethRo pulls him away: "I was wrong. It's weird like that. It doesn't sound cool."

But don't worry! Things are gonna work out. JGL's bald head attracts the attention of some young women who ask to touch it. "You can do more than touch it!" SethRo says. Yes, ladies: RUB YOUR PUSSIES ON IT!

This is all funny because cancer. The end.

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