[Trigger warning for fat hatred.]

Actual Headline: Overweight Americans throwing off safety of city buses.

Actual Lede: "It's official: The federal government says more overweight Americans are squeezing onto buses, and it may have to rewrite bus safety rules because of it."

Actual Point of Article: Fatties are gross ruiners of everything, no doy.

Because, seriously, have any of the people associated with this article—writing it, editing it, commenting for it—actually ridden a city bus during rush hour any time in the last 20 years? The only guideline governing that Lord of the Flies melee is: Make sure you're exhaling when the next round of passengers squeeze on if you want to be able to keep breathing for the rest of your ride.

(And, as an aside, in my experience, fat people are the least likely to try to squeeze onto crowded public transport of any description, for the evident reason that they'd like to avoid exactly this kind of fat-shaming.)

I'll worry about being fat on a bus when the transit authority actually gives a fuck about how many people cram onto a bus.

In other words: Never.

[H/T to Shaker aulocks.]

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