Akira Coming to (A Very White) Big Screen

Hey, remember The Last Airbender? That was a movie that came out last year and pissed a lot of people off because: A) the whitewashing of the cast, and B) it sucked. I haven't seen it, so I can't confirm nor deny its suckitude. But if the internet is any barometer, and the internet is always right, the film was garbage. Also, no one was really arguing that it wasn't whitewashed, were they?

Well, along those same lines, a live action adaption of Katsuhiro Otomo's Akira is coming to the big screen. For those who don't know, the comic series is about (forgive me, I'm working from memory here and it's been 20+ years since reading it) about rival gangs of motorcycle hooligans made up of reform school delinquents from Neo-Tokyo who stumble into a government conspiracy involving psychic children. Or something. Anyway, there are motorcycles and laser beams and lots of Japanese kids in the thing.

So, naturally, Hollywood's top choices for actors to fill the roles of these Asian teens include:

Robert Pattinson, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Chris Pine, Justin Timberlake and Joaquin Phoenix.

Because when I think Asian teen, the first person that pops into my head is thirty-six-year-old Joaquin Phoenix. I especially loved his performance in the biopic Walk The Line, as famed Japanese singer Johnny Cash. Plus he was awesome in Space Camp back when his name was Leaf.

Hoo boy. What a disaster. Discuss.

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