This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

"On Her Wedding Day, Saying the Things Left Unsaid," by Andrew Cohen.

There just aren't enough barf bags in the world for this mess, upon which I hereby confer the Andrew Corsello Award for Public Displays of Cringe-Inducing Privilege While Waxing Narcissistic About a Woman I Could Not Be More Heavingly Relieved Not to Be.

Cohen's colleague, Lizzie Skurnick, responds.

[H/T to Shakers Lord Asparagus, Poodle, and Bernie 83.]