The OFFS Awards: Kathleen Parker

With honorable mention to today's runner-up, the Washington Post, who inexplicably continue to pay Kathleen Parker to write this fetid shit:
If Bill Clinton was our first black president, as Toni Morrison once proclaimed, then Barack Obama may be our first woman president.

Phew. That was fun. Now, if you'll just keep those hatchets holstered and hear me out.
Oh my aching sides. The old "don't get violent with me, gender police!" chestnut never stops being heeeeelarious.

The rest of the piece is the usual patented Parker poppycock: Men and women are different in stereotypes whose respective Venn diagrams do not overlap (because one is on Mars and one is on Venus, amirite? HIGH FIVES!), Obama has feminine traits, therefore he's a woman, and women are stupid, which is why he's a failure, and we totes need a Real Woman, namely a conservative one who acts like a man, in that there Oval Office.

Blah blah blah.

Never mind the threadbare gendered analysis and the so-old-they-fart-dust [/spudsy] stereotypes on which it's based; Parker's ridiculous contention that Obama is the first female president isn't even fresh.

Kathleen Parker's column, this jalopy called. It wants its old, tired, and brokedown back.

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