Texting! With Liss and Deeky!

I just got back from a doctor's appointment, which was for 10:15, although I didn't actually get called in to see the doctor until 11:15. That sort of wait would be aggravating enough for any old appointment, but this was for a routine pap smear—a procedure that is anxiety-provoking enough already without having an extra hour to sit and contemplate it. Luckily, I had Deeks at the other end of my phone to keep me company…

Liss: "Are you ready to do something about overactive bladder?"

Deeky: I'm ready to urinate.

Liss: That made me LOL 4 realz right in the waiting room.

Deeky: Yay!

Liss: They've got "The View" on and the ladies are talking about fat people. It's a GREAT discussion. P.S. It's not a great discussion.

Deeky: LOL.

Liss: OMG coming up on "The View": Ricky Gervais. I predict: High blood pressure today. Thanks, "The View!"


[Note: I actually had high blood pressure today, which I normally don't. It was so high that the nurse took it again manually because she couldn't believe the machine could be right, given my usual numbers. That's what happens when you leave me in a waiting room for an hour before a pap smear to watch "The View."]

Deeky: You should have brought your iPod. Some Oasis would have soothed you.

Liss: Shut up, fuckface! You know I don't have an iPod, lol!

Deeky: That's right: You're a no-iPod asshole.

Liss: Be quiet—I'm trying to hear Ricky Gervais' rape jokes!

Deeky: LOL for realz.

Liss: I shit you not: Next on "The View"—the cast of "The Jersey Shore." It would be more efficient if Barbara Walters just took a shit directly into my skull.

Deeky: Double-plus LOLz for real.

Liss: I'm glad I got here five minutes early for my appointment!

Deeky: Totes. It gives you a chance to get caught up on People magazine from 1997. How are the Spin Doctors doing, by the way?

Liss: Awesome. They're putting out a new line of plaid skater pants. "Little Pants Can't Be Wrong."

Deeky: LOL… You're killing me here.

Liss: Also: Jesus Jones says hi.

Deeky: They say hi everyday. On my iPod.

Liss: Joy Behar just asked "The Situation" if he uses condoms. Oopsy! Now I'm celibate.

Deeky: LOL.

Liss: Tomorrow on "The View": "The Octomom."

Deeky: WTF???????

Liss: This show is a real thing in the world.

Deeky: Totes.

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