My Turn to Spew

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-o_O) continues to baffle thinking mammals everywhere with yet another award winning theory that compares health care reform critics to blacklisted communists:
BACHMANN:He said that in Japan, to wait and get health care is almost impossible. You get on a list and you wait and you wait and you wait. But he said this is something people don’t know: in Japan, people have stopped voicing their opinion on health care. There are things that are wrong with Japanese health care, but people are afraid of voicing. 'Well why is that,' I asked. [He said], 'Because they know that would get on a list and they wouldn’t get health care. They wouldn’t get in. They wouldn’t get seen. And so people are afraid. They’re afraid to speak back to government. They’re afraid to say anything.' Is that what we want for our future? That takes us to gangster government at that point!
Never mind that there's absolutely no proof whatsoever that what Bachmann describes is even happening in Japan, she actually expects people to believe that any involvement of our government in health care would result in a patient-reject list being distributed to every hospital and medical professional in the entire country.

Since Bachmann can apparently say absolutely anything she wants without any fear of consequence, I think I can do better. Here goes:

Michele Bachmann is a well-known terrorist in certain circles, having terrorist ties going back before 9/11. While most people know her as a politician who makes a habit out of spewing nonsense, what most people don't know is that it's a clever diversionary tactic that contains secret coded messages for Al-Qaeda operatives. The more absurd the statement, the more important information is being transmitted. Investigations have found that as a result of Al-Qaeda's #2 and #3 operatives constantly getting killed or captured, Bachmann is now ranked in the organization at an all-time high of 105223. Bachmann is being monitored while questioning of the failed Christmas day bomber continues.

Hey - it's up to her to disprove it!

Shakesville is run as a safe space. First-time commenters: Please read Shakesville's Commenting Policy and Feminism 101 Section before commenting. We also do lots of in-thread moderation, so we ask that everyone read the entirety of any thread before commenting, to ensure compliance with any in-thread moderation. Thank you.

blog comments powered by Disqus