by Shaker mschicklet
Johnny Depp wants us all to know that Roman Polanski is no longer a threat. You see, Mr. Depp seems to think that Polanski is no longer capable of raping someone, because he is in his 70s and has a wife and children. So, there you go, nothing to worry about. We can all sit back, relax, and join the "Free Polanski" crowd.
Except, wait a minute. The second man who raped me had a wife and children. Every single day, I am blindsided by anxiety attacks brought on by the memory of his scent, his voice, even the sound of his name. Memory is a fickle thing, but I remember what he did to me. He raped me. While he was married. While his two young daughters were sleeping in the next bedroom.
But, Mr. Depp says there's no way a man with a wife and children would do such a thing. No way someone who's married for 20+ years, who kisses his daughters goodnight and tucks them into bed, could possibly rape anyone. So, does that mean my experience means nothing? Does that mean it really didn't happen?
I take issue with the fact that Johnny Depp is using his privilege to minimize and even deny the horrific events that so many victims have been forced to endure. And, after reading the Survivor Thread and listening to the stories of other rape victims in tear-filled counseling groups, I know my story isn't all that rare.
Because, as we've learned, that's the thing about rapists. They rape people. A wedding band doesn't stop them, nor does the fact that they have children. Nor does their age. Denying this, as Mr. Depp is doing, silences rape victims. And, really, haven't victims already been silenced enough?
In addition to trying to be the final word on what a rapist is or is not, Johnny Depp also wants to know why Polanski was arrested. "Why now?" he asks. Why is this coming up now? Because Polanski fled the country for 30 years and refused to serve his time. By asking "Why now?" Mr. Depp is focusing responsibility on the wrong people – the people who want our justice system to do its job. Instead, he should be holding Polanski accountable. Mr. Depp's words absolutely scream, "Poor him! Poor guy! Let him go! Leave him alone!" What sort of a society do we live in if so many people feel the need to defend and protect a rapist? If this isn't rape culture, then I don't know what is.
And ever since the arrest of Polanski, that's what I've seen from such a large portion of Hollywood and society in general. I've seen some of the most respected actors and filmmakers in Hollywood defend someone who doesn't deserve it. Either they deny that he is a rapist, deny that he ever was a rapist, or blame us for not letting the rapist go. I wish Johnny Depp realized that by adding his name to the long list of rape apologists, he not helping the situation – he is hurting so many people who are now faced with the cold truth that one less person is on their side.
It must be nice to live in the fantasy world that Johnny Depp lives in. In fact, I remember when I had similar beliefs. Men with children are safe, I would think to myself, in large part because that's what my mother taught me. It wasn't until I was raped that I finally realized how wrong I had been. But it shouldn't take something like that to "wake us up." We shouldn't have to wake up in the first place.