Antiques with Deeks: Anthropomorphs

Part three of my trek through the antique mall. (See also parts one and two.) Today: A giant bunny.

I don't know if you can tell from the photo, but this fucking thing is probably three-and-a-half feet tall. I am going to guess this ragged, creepy bunny in a too-wide tie is some remnant of Easters bygone. I'm not sure why his legs are sans fur, other than some value engineering on the part of the manufacturer. Whatever. He wasn't worth the $200 price tag.

I also found a great showroom dummy. He was a little boy with fire orange hair painted upon his fiberglass skull. He had little curls on his brow that were much like flames one might paint on the front of their van to give the impression of great speed, as if the vehicle were a rocket reentering the atmosphere. There was glint in this boy's eye and a smirk on his face that was just not right. Frankly, he was kind of scary, and I tried to imagine what kind of store would want this in their window.

I can't really go into what happened to the photo, so please don't ask. Just trust me that it was pretty fucking awesome. But alas, I am unable to share it with you. But hey, I feel bad about that, so I'll repost something I saw on another visit:

Robocephus. A singing, dancing Hank Williams Jr. And no, there is no way this grotesquery qualifies as an antique. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

(Concludes tomorrow.)


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