A Respected Television Personality

In case you haven't heard (and if you haven't, I'm sorry to do this to you), Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck are "teaming up and going on tour." No, they're not engaging in some right-wing Simon & Garfunkel rip-off (although that would probably be only slightly less painful than reality), the "Bold and Fresh" tour appears to be nothing more than two hot gasbags sitting on their privileged asses and grousing about everything they don't like. Hint: If it ain't White, Christian, Cis and Male, it'll probably make their list.

Tickets are roughly 45 bucks. Of course there's merchandise.

I'm sure you're all dying to know what you're missing. How could you not, with a title like that? (He's Bold! He's Fresh! They're cops!) Let's just say that O'Reilly is already on a roll. It wasn't enough to suggest that the CIA should kidnap Pelosi and Reid and waterboard Pelosi, no no no. Bill had to pontificate on the south side of Chicago. Because Obama is from Chicago, and, well, it must be horrible.

O'REILLY: I'm seeing a guy who's very, very committed to the government. To government, the government's going to solve the problems, and I'm going I don't know how that's possible. If you've ever been to the South Side of Chicago, I mean, it's a disaster, all right? It's like Haiti, it's like -- I've been to Haiti a couple of times. I support some charities there, but Haiti just never gets better, no matter how much money you put in there because they don't have a system. And I said the government can't do it but, Obama really believes the government can do it.

Wow. I never even knew we had an earthquake on the south side. Wait, of course we didn't. So I wonder what Bill is talking about?

Hm.