Film Corner!

So, let me see if I have this right: George Clooney is a wealthy, straight, cis, able-bodied white American man who has a lonesome sort of job, the lonesomeness of which he uses to avoid emotional attachments—until he has some sort of existential crisis, at which point he comes to realize that, through no emotional effort, investment, or vigilance of his own, he actually has an amazing support system of people waiting for him with open arms, despite the fact that he's been taking them totally for granted his entire life.

I guess Clooney's getting Nicholson's old scripts now.


[Transcript below.]

George Clooney narrates over a series of images [described throughout in brackets], accompanied by piano music: Now this is going to be a little difficult [Clooney at podium], so stay with me. How much does your life weigh? [Clooney stands in silhouette at an airport] Imagine for a second [Clooney looks out an airplane window] that you're carrying a backpack. [Scenes from plane window: Small clouds over rural landscape; big fluffy clouds.] Now I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life. [Clooney rides alone on a subway train.] You start with the little things, the things on shelves [scenes of Clooney moving through an airport with luggage] and in drawers, the knick-knacks [scene of urban landscape out plane window], then you start adding larger stuff [Clooney looks out hotel window], clothes, table-top appliances [Clooney has lonely drink in hotel], lamps [Clooney runs on treadmill all by himself in hotel gym], your TV [Clooney swims all by himself in hotel pool]; backpack should be getting pretty heavy now. [Clooney sits alone in hotel staring at a backpack.] You go bigger [scene of urban landscape out plane window]—your couch, your car, your home [Clooney walks into sterile apartment]; I want you to stuff it all [Clooney has lonely drink while looking out apartment window] into that backpack. Now [scene of airplane taking off], I want you to fill it with people [Clooney in airport]—start with casual acquaintances [female airline worker smiles at him; he shakes he hand of a man next to him on the plane], friends of friends [he walks along with his young female coworker], folks around the office [he sits in a business meeting with coworkers, watching PowerPoint graphic showing people connecting], and then you move into the [image of Clooney and Vera Farmiga, sitting in their underwear as if post-coitus, sitting opposite each other opening up their laptops] people you trust with your most intimate secrets [scene of rural landscape out plane window], brothers [Clooney stands with two women on a street] or sisters, [J.K. Simmons holds up a wallet with pictures of kids] your children, your parents, [scenes of a wedding] and finally your husband, your wife, [young female coworker embraces a dude] boyfriend, your girlfriend [Farmiga kisses Clooney in bed]—get 'em into that backpack. [Jason Bateman and Zach Galifianakis look at each other; young female coworker holds up a cell phone with a text message reading: "i think it's time we c other people."] Feel the weight of that bag. [Young female coworker collapses into Clooney's arms, crying.] Make no mistake—your relationships are the heaviest [image of bride in gown] components [Clooney and Farmiga look at each other, laughing] in your life [Clooney alone in an office], all those [Clooney hangs out with young female coworker] negotiations [scene of rural landscape from plane window] and arguments, secrets [Clooney and Farmiga in hotel hallway] and compromises [Clooney in airport]. The slower we move [young female coworker in airport, moving away], the faster we die. [Clooney and Farmiga dancing; getting their picture taken.] Make no mistake [Clooney running in airport], moving is living. [Clooney and Farmiga kiss in stairwell.] Some animals were meant to carry [shot of Clooney and young female coworker walking with luggage] each other, to live [Clooney walking alone with luggage] symbiotically over a lifetime [Clooney walks alone with luggage while couple embraces in background]—star-crossed lovers, monogamous swans. [Clooney stands along in airport.] We are not swans. [Farmiga opens apartment door to see Clooney standing there in the snow.] We're sharks [Clooney at podium]. Text onscreen: Up in the Air.