Winner: Most Pathetic Letterman Apolgia

Tom Shales: Let's Remember That Letterman's a Clown, Not a Cleric or Congressman—"One of many sad things about recent stanzas in the ballad of David Letterman is that now, in all media, Dave will be lumped in with other sexually misbehaving celebrities, even though he stands head and heart above most of them."

It only goes downhill from there.

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