Vloggin' with Blogginz, Episode 3

[Episode 1, Episode 2.]

[Also available at Daily Motion. Full transcript below.]
Title Card: Vloggin' with Blogginz…& Livs

[Livs sits on the back of the sofa, cleaning herself. Kenny Blogginz sits at the opposite end of the sofa, playing Peggle (a game in which a unicorn plays a prominent role, which explains the first segment). The music from the game plays in the background. Everything is quiet, because Iain has just gone to bed.]

Liss: So what do you think is the greatest novel ever written about unicorns?

[Livs hops down between them on the couch.]

KBlogz: Ariel.

Liss: And what makes it the greatest of all time? I mean, are you sure it's really better than The Last Unicorn?

KBlogz: Oh, is that—I've never actually experienced it.

Liss: [gasps] Have you not even seen the cartoon?

KBlogz: No.

Liss: Mmm. I watched that a lot when I was a kid. It used to be on HBO all the time when I was a kid, The Last Unicorn.

KBlogz: Is it a Ralph Bakshi movie?

Liss: No, I don't…think…so. And [clears throat] I thought it was really scandalous because it was like a PG-13 cartoon—

KBlogz: Yeah.

Liss: —and it had cussing and boobs in it.

KBlogz: That sounds like Ralph Bakshi.

Liss: Could be.

KBlogz: Are you sure it wasn't?

Liss: It could be.

KBlogz: The guy who did, um, the—that one Lord of the Rings movie…he used, like, rotoscoping… Was that Ralph Bakshi?

Liss: I'm not sure off the top of my head, to be honest with you.

KBlogz: Look it up right now!

Info Cards: Actually… Ralph Bakshi [photo of Ralph Bakshi] …didn't make "The Last Unicorn" [screen cap from "The Last Unicorn"] That was Arthur Rankin, Jr. and Jules Bass [photo of Rankin and Bass] …who also made "The Hobbit" [screen cap from "The Hobbit"].

KBlogz: Okay, so basically my friend—

[Livsy whines and rolls over in a funny way; Liss and KBlogz laugh]

Liss: Yes?

KBlogz: My friend's grandpa used to call people "Melvin Nerdly"—it was like his weird nickname for people, like how a lot of old people call people, you know, "Buster Brown" or something.

Liss: Mm-hmm.

Info Card: My great-granddad used to call self-important men "Charlie Grapenuts, the Little Sheriff."

KBlogz: So, he'd call people Melvin Nerdly; I just thought that was the funniest thing I've ever heard—

Liss: It is good.

KBlogz: —and, um, so basically, this friend and I would cover songs in like a nerd voice; we'd say it was like a cover artist named Melvin Nerdly.

Liss: Mm-hmm. Could you do a performance as Melvin Nerdly?

KBlogz: Well…

Liss: Would you grace us?

KBlogz: Theoretically, Melvin Nerdly was a huge Paula Abdul fan.

Liss: Who isn't?

KBlogz: Who isn't, right. So he'd be like, you know— Well, actually, this was sort of because Jake and I were watching a marathon of, um— What was Paul Abdul's reality show, her short-lived…

Liss: "Hey, Paula!"

KBlogz: "Hey, Paula!" And we would be like [sings in a nerdy voice] "Straight up now tell me do you really want to love me forever…" [Liss laughs] And it just took off and became a national viral sensation.


KBlogz: Watch what's about to happen. [Liss swings camera around at TV.] Watch this. [KBlogz shoots ball; it's a terrible shot and drops immediately. They both laugh.]

Liss: Excellent gamesmanship.

KBlogz: [laughs] Thank you.

Liss: Or gameswomanship. Whichever you prefer.

KBlogz: Excellent Blartspersonship!

Liss: [laughs] Indeed.

KBlogz: [laughs] Two balls left.

Liss: I heard that used to be your nickname in gym class. Two balls left.

KBlogz: It did. [laughs]

[Edit; Livsy is splayed on the sofa, sleeping hard and very still.]

Liss: I think Olivia might be dead. Do you wanna like rub her belly and make sure she's still alive?

KBlogz: [rubs her belly] She's not.

Liss: No?

[Livs twitches almost imperceptibly]

KBlogz: That could just be gas escaping.

Liss: [laughs as KBlogz pats and scratches Livs' belly] Oh, I think I hear snoring. That's…not a lot of movement. She's really tired.

KBlogz: From what—sleeping?!

[Liss laughs; KBlogz plays with Livs' paw and prods at her]

KBlogz: Wake up.

Liss: Maybe if you sing to her like Melvin Nerdly.

[KBlogz leans forward and Livs immediately whips her head around and looks at him]

KBlogz: Maybe if I moved. Oh, damn.

[Liss laughs as Livsy flops back into her original position and closes her eyes.]

Liss: Right back to it.

Title Card: The End!!!

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