So, I'm riding my scooter home from work; it's a beautiful evening. I've actually been able to ride my scoot for the past couple of weeks every day; the weather has been beautiful, and I'm a happy spud. I was sitting at a stop light at a pretty crowded intersection waiting for the light to change, and I heard a guy yell something at me. I know it was directed at me, because the one word I caught out of the arglebargle was "scooter." I took a look to my left, looking to see who it might be, because my friends and co-workers are the types that would yell and hoot at me from a car. Couldn't see anyone I recognized or trying to get my attention, so I gave a mental shrug and went back to waiting.
Then, I realized what this guy had shouted was, "Nice scooter, you tool."
How do I know this? Because he yelled it again.
"Holy shit," I thought, "how pathetic can you get?" This idiot was obviously very invested in his insult and making sure I heard it, because he yelled it a third time. To be clear, it was obvious by his voice that this douche was some dudebro roughly my age, and I'm certainly old enough to know better than to yell insults from cars.
When I still didn't pay attention, he changed tactics. "Nice plane bag, you tool!" (I use a vintage-ish airline bag for a briefcase, and it is quite nice, actually.) This guy REALLY wanted to make sure I was WOUNDED. By him insulting my accessories. Ahem. When he still didn't get a response, he went back to his original insult again. Then the light changed and I sped away, laughing my ass off. The only thing that would have made this encounter more hilarious would be if he yelled "Heyyy! Everybody! Nicescootertool! Woooo!"
Seriously, how pathetic and shallow do you have to be to yell insults at a complete stranger from a car, and then repeat it several times when you don't get a response? And you know, when I got my scooter, the first thought in my head was, "But will douchebags think I look cool when I'm riding?"
So Shakers, what's the last douchariffic thing some bozo yelled at you in public? (Recognizing, of course, that yours may not be funny and/or pathetic, and that's fine.)