In Which I Substitute an Email Conversation with Deeky for an Actual Post

Liss: You totes need this immediately.

Deeks: Yes, yes I do! Buy it for me!

Liss: Okay, but only if you buy me this.

Deeks: If I had 223 bucks I totally would. I could totally buy you something and rationalize it, but there is no way I could say to anyone I actually paid for that Krofft lunchbox. "Oh, no, someone gave me this as a gift, so it's cool."

Liss: You're so sensible. You're like a pair of Dockers.

Deeks: I hate you.

Liss: Never mind that. Do you know why Etsy is evil? Because it tries to convince me I need things like a red enamelware soup tureen. I only just managed to click away without buying it. That happens many times daily. If I were a millionaire, my house would be full of things like vintage red enamelware soup tureens, and I would spend my days making soup and the rest of my money flying you on my private jet to slurp soup with me for dinner.

Deeks: That is a beautiful tureen. If you were a millionaire, I'd just come over one day and never leave. I'd spend three years lazing in your pool while the cabana boy fed us canapés.

Liss: LOL. When I'm a millionaire, I'm totes getting a figure 8 pool and painting my face in the small circle and boobs and a big belly button in the big one. And then we're gonna swim in it all day and laugh and laugh: "WE'RE IN THE FAT POOL! WE'RE IN THE FAT POOL!"

Deeks: LOL! You're such a doofus.

Shakesville is run as a safe space. First-time commenters: Please read Shakesville's Commenting Policy and Feminism 101 Section before commenting. We also do lots of in-thread moderation, so we ask that everyone read the entirety of any thread before commenting, to ensure compliance with any in-thread moderation. Thank you.

blog comments powered by Disqus