I Needs Help!

[Moving this back to the top for a bit, in case any more requests/suggestions/additions need to be made...]

Okay, Shakers—so I've been trying to find time to finally finish the Shaxicon for months, but I never seem to be able to carve out enough uninterrupted time to just sit with it and get it done. And then I realized that bunches of you are always generously offering to help out with the blog however you can, and this project is a perfect example of something with which I can easily get help if only I'd ask for it. So I'm asking! Wheeeeeeeeee!

Below are all the entries; I'm including the ones that have already been defined so that everyone knows what's included in the Shaxicon, but the ones in need of help are in bold. Some just have links to relevant posts or comments, but need definitions. Define whichever ones you like, and multiple submissions are okay. I'll just grab my favorite, or combine them, or wev.

If you have requests for other words/phrases, let me know in comments and I'll consider adding them.

My sincere thanks and gratitude in advance to anyone who helps out!

All In—Being "All In" is an acknowledgement that not speaking up, that not using one's teaspoon, that turning a blind eye toward or meeting with apathy the injustices wrought against other people tacitly condones them. To be "All In" is to recognize: I make a difference in this world, for good or ill. There is no neutral. There is no Switzerland. There is only saying no to the indignities one human visits upon another—prejudice, hatred, humiliation and pain—or saying yes. And silence, the craven averting of one's gaze so the offense may take place out of view, is not a no. It is not ambiguous. It is a yes. Yes, go ahead, just don't do it to me. It is a permission, and a plea. I'll sacrifice her if you'll let me on my merry way. We routinely cede our expectations of goodness for guarantees of safety, but only our own, and we can no longer fool ourselves that people who hurt others while we cast down our eyes are aberrations; they are, in the void of unyielding solidarity our self-interest has left, inevitabilities. There is no neutral. You're in or you're fucking out.


Assdrip—A non-gendered expression of disdain, as in: "I don't give the tiniest, microscopic shit about Joe Lieberman. I don't care if I never even hear the name of this oxygen-sucking assdrip again for the rest of my everloving life."

Benjamin Buttons Shit—[link]

Blub—To cry, either with sadness or extreme joy.

Boob Pistol of Disdain—Liss' recommended, oft-used, and awesomely gratifying response to cow-calling, i.e. strangers screaming, commenting, grabbing, or otherwise rudely reminding you that you're publicly fat: 1. 1. Grab your boob. 2. Aim it at them like a pistol of righteousness. 3. Blow a giant, loud raspberry.

Bowl of Farts—A general insult, coined by Space Cowboy.

Clusterfucktastrophe—A catastrophic clusterfuck; a huge-ass mess.

Cult of the Feminazi Cooter—See: Feminazi Cooter.


Drip of Dogwank—As described. One of Liss' favorite turns of phrase to express disdain, as in: "I don't give a tiny drip of dogwank what any former president did or didn't do when it has nothing to do with what the current president is doing now. What Clinton did about wiretapping in 1994 has about as much to do with what Bush is doing about wiretapping now as pickled pigs' feet have to do with supernovas."


Expect More—An important component of teaspooning, the rejection of complacency masked as cynicism: "I'm not ironically detached, I'm not apathetic, I'm not resigned, and I'm not contemptuous of bleeding hearts. I am a greedy bitch with voracious expectations, and I dream long and lustfully of a better world that is both my muse and objective. I want it like the cracked earth of the desert wants rain, and I will neither apologize for nor amend my desire because of its remove from the here and now; its distance encourages my reach."

Fainting Couch/Pearl Clutching/Mint Julip/Smelling Salts—The accoutrements of affected Victorian shock.

Fauxgina—An honorary vagina granted by a feminist/womanist woman to a F/W or F/W-allied man as a show of solidarity, as in: "Your 'Honorary Feminazi Cooter' fauxgina is in the mail."

Fauxgressive—Someone who claims to be progressives but demonstrates a bigotry incompatible with authentic progressivism, e.g. sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, disablism, classism, sizism, etc.

Feminazi Cooter—This is the feminazi cooter. Now, I'm sort of breaking the Feminazi Cooter League's code of secrecy to do this, but let me just explain how the process works, to clear up any confusion: The Radical Gay Eggs are kept in the ovaries until they are fertilized by the dulcet tones of Barney Frank (or a Frank-certified Fertilofag like Spudsy), at which time they are deposited in the womb where they incubate alongside the Radical Gay Agenda Pink Disco Ball, which spins to the beat of It's Raining Men. In mere hours, the Radical Gay Eggs hatch into teensy lavender copies of Melissa Etheridge singles, which slowly disintegrate as they pass through the vaginal canal, emitting radiating vibrations of the Radical Gay Agenda.

Flounce/Echo Flounce/Epic Flounce

Fooking Hoff oon a fooking Tschoosday—Care of Iain, a comparison for something you just can't handle at the moment, as in: "It's too much. I can't take it. This is like fooking Hoff oon a fooking Tschoosday."


Gay as a pair of pink shoes

Gaypocalypse—The impending meltdown of the American family after radical queers and their radical allies take over the entire country and force good, conservative, Christian straight people to get gay-married against their wills and give up their firstborn children to be gayified with their gay-beams of gayitude.

Here, there is only pie.—In the truly hilarious but browser-crashing Fat Princess Flypaper thread (the Top 10 Troll Droppings from which are recounted here), Shaker JupiterPluvius calmly, brilliantly, and memorably explained to a troll who was missing the point: "What you are doing, sir, is the equivalent of going into a pie-shop and demanding a jellied eel, because the jellied-eel shop had been closed down after a gang of hooligans had demolished the place. SIR, YOU ARE TOO LATE FOR THE JELLIED EELS. HERE, WE HAVE ONLY PIE."

Hey your gay—A particularly amusing troll dropping.

Heyyy! Everybody! [Gibberish]! Wooo!—[link]

Homomentum—The inevitable gay equality train barreling down the tracks. Choo-choo!

I am Spartacus

Jizz! in! my pants!—An expression of extreme excitement, care of Andy Samberg.

Kumbaya, bitchez.—An ironic comment on idiots who can't get along, usually because they're deliberately stirring shit.

Learn to logic—A particularly amusing troll dropping, which can be adapted for any purpose, e.g. Bill O'Reilly should learn to math.

lol your fat—A particularly amusing troll dropping, frequently applied in other contexts, e.g. lol your hopey-changeyness.

lolsob—Laughing and crying at the same time.

Maude—Liss' imaginary higher power.

Metric Fuckton—A lot. More than two fuckloads.

Misogybag—A misogynist douchebag.

MREWYB—My rights end where yours begin. Liss' political philosophy, in one sentence. Example in practice here.

Nieztschean bake sales—[link]

Nutria-based economy—[link]

o.oP—The teaspoon salute.

OFFS—Oh for fuck's sake. [/deeky]

OMG Shoez—"OMG Shoez" is something that Spudsy and Liss call each other just to say like 90 times a day, all because of this video. It's also a good way to indicate that a troll is being a hyberbolic dipshit, e.g.: "Liberals will be the end of America!" You: "OMG Shoez!"


Pathetic Anger Bread—Another superb troll dropping from the Fat Princess Greatest Hits parade.

President Mondo Fucko—Liss' nickname for former president George W. Bush.

QCoFM—QCoFM is an abbreviation for Queen Cunt of Fuck Mountain, which Liss christened herself in response to emails she'd been getting about her coarse and decidedly unladylike language: "Fearing that we face a whole new level of bullshit about which we will, and should, be visibly angry, and preparing myself thusly, comments and emails composed specifically to tell me to stop using bad language or to start being less aggressive, less hostile, less antagonistic, less bitchy, less arrogant, less belligerent, less vitriolic, less nasty, less acerbic, or less of a poopyhead, are as welcome as any other, but I feel obligated to inform all potential authors of such missives that they are, however, a waste of time. If I get my facts wrong, let me know. If you don't like my tone, tough. At this bus stop in the blogosphere, I'm Queen Cunt of Fuck Mountain, and I'm mean for a reason. Once we get our country back on the right track, there will plenty of time for nursery rhymes."

Retrofuck Jackhole—Liss' coinage for the "traditionalists."



Safe Space—[This one still needs work, but I'm going to write something pretty long for it, so don't bother on this one.]

Scan Your Credentials

Shakesville—In October 2004, Liss started a blog she called Shakespeare's Sister, after one of her favorite Smiths' songs, and adopted the same as my own handle. When she had no readers besides Iain, and no other contributors, it didn't seem particularly weird to share the handle with the name of the blog, but as an entire community of contributors, guest writers, commenters, and lurkers grew, it didn't make a bit of sense. And so, as a nod to the community, Shakespeare's Sister became Shakesville.

Sodomy Squadron, aka The Sod Squad—Purveyors of the radical gay agenda and harbingers of the gaypocalypse.

Take your complaints to the management/Julius

Teaspooning—The teaspoon reference started with Liss' post on International Human Rights Day: "Today is the final day of the 16 Days of Action Against Gender Violence, during which I suppose I have blogged exactly as often as always about violence against women, in America and abroad. Sometimes it feels like it's all I ever write about; sometimes it feels like I can't possibly write about it enough to do the issue justice; often, those feelings exist within me simultaneously. All I ever do is try to empty the sea with this teaspoon; all I can do is keep trying to empty the sea with this teaspoon." From that came the Shakesville Silver Teaspoon for Random Acts of Feminism, and a whole lot of subsequent references to teaspoons in these pages, when we are feeling crushed by the vastness of the work to be done.

This is gay, your all gay.

titty-wrap hugs {{{OTWHRecipientO}}}


Trigger/Triggering/Trigger Warning

Unsullied Cunt—[link]

Vagynomite—The power of Hillary Clinton's vagina in destroying male bromances.

Venus Fly Vagina—[link]

Wankstain—As described. One of Liss' favorite turns of phrase to express disdain, as in: Chris Matthews is a misogynist wankstain.

Wev—Wev is what Liss says when she has too much contempt for something to even bother uttering the full three syllables of whatever. Or, as the case may be, typing them.

Who farted?—Fred Thompson did.

Who monitors your bevis?

WTP—What the Poop, or WTP, is like WTF, except...more so. Or less so. WTPs are sort of like Potter Stewart and obscenity—you just know it when you see it. WTF, while exceptionally useful in conveying cynical anger, pales in comparison to the genius of WTP when one needs to express guileless bewilderment at so much weird and fucked-up shit in the world. Its genesis lies with Mama Shakes, who exclaimed "What the poop?!" one evening in response to a confounding clock. I told Mama Shakes that "What the poop?!" was going straight on the blog—and she was going to have to pose for a picture, to which she immediately consented, because she's as batshit nutz as I am.

Your Gayest Look

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