What Dreams Do Come

I have crazy-ass dreams all the time. (Long-time Shakers may recall the Fucktologists dream, as but one example.) In the middle of last week, I dreamt that Matilda sprouted big, black, feathery wings and flew to the top of an impossibly tall bookcase in a den that is not any existing part of our house. I asked her WTF, and she flew back down to the floor and told me she was a wizard, before turning her body white with black spots and then flying through a wall, leaving a red laser trail in her wake. In my dream, I caught her amazing departure on video, and thought, "I'm totally posting that."

My most recent bizarre dream was that Deeky and I were time-travelers working for a government agency, and we got sent on a mission to rescue a group of goth teens from a place posing as a school for the gifted but was actually a front for a dangerous cult. We had to rescue them because they were megasmart (like us), and America needed them, uncultified, for the country's future. Who says liberals aren't patriots?

All this crazy shit happened once we made our escape, and Deeky would get into trouble and I'd have to rescue him, and then I'd get into trouble and he'd have to rescue me, and naturally we kept wisecracking and calling each other assholes whenever we had to save one another's ass. Then, at the end of the dream, we met up with other members of our time-traveling team who were on different missions, and we were all in this limo going to LaGuardia Airport in NYC, which was where we would get on our special time-traveling airplane back to the present, and I was like, "Deeky's never been to New York before; do we have time to drive around the city a bit before we go?"

The driver said, "No, we don't. The flight leaves as soon as we get there." To which I replied, "You guys are assholes." Then the dream ended.

And when I awoke, my first sleepy thought was not, "What kind of vetting is going on at this highly secretive government agency that they're hiring Deeks and me?" but instead, "It's such bullshit that LaGuardia wouldn't hold a plane for time-traveling super-agents."

And it really is.

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