I Write Letters

Dear English-Speaking World:

Please stop using the phrase "Joe's a man's man," effective immediately.

When you use that odious idiom, you are implicitly suggesting that any man who is not in Joe's peer group, by virtue of, say, his sexual orientation, gender expression, lack of the requisite physical aptitude for team sports, love of Luigi Illica librettos, and/or aversion to bullying, is also not a man.

And we can all see how silly that is, now, can't we?

If you mean to communicate that a particular man is very popular with other men who are just like him, then you can say: "Joe is very popular with other men who are just like him."

If you mean to communicate that a particular man is very popular with lots of different kinds of men, then you can say: "Joe is very popular with lots of different kinds of men."

If, upon consideration, you realize that Joe is popular not just with men at all, but with women, too, and not just in that "ladies' man" kind of way, then you can say: "Joe is very popular."

And if, upon consideration, you realize that what you meant to communicate all along is that Joe is an embodiment of the stereotype of a straight, white, beer-guzzling, sports-obsessed, dodo-brained, porn-loving homophobe who substitutes rape jokes for a real sense of humor and claims he can use the n-word because his college roommate was black, then you can say: "Joe is a douche."

Thank you and have a nice day.

Love,
Liss

P.S. Ixnay the use of "ladies' man," too. Thanks.

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