The Pink House! Haw, Haw

Apparently, it's open season on Paris Hilton. Hacktackular.

Hillary Clinton, watch out: there might be a woman in the White House after all. Paris Hilton is now running for president of the United States of America. OK, not really. But after John McCain released an ad that compared Barack Obama to celebrities like Britney Spears and Ms. Hilton, Paris threw her hat into the ring, too. She put out her own political ad—it went viral so quickly that it's been watched by more than 5 million people. "I want America to know that I'm, like, totally ready to lead," the heiress says. That got us thinking: what would a Paris Hilton administration actually look like?

That last sentence is so Shitty Comedian that it's already heading to your local open mic night at The Chuckle Hut. "I have weird ideas... like, what if Jack Nicholson played Mike Brady? Ithinkitmightgoalittlesomethinglikethis!"

Anyway, I'm sure you can see where this is going.

Adam McKay, founder of the site FunnyOrDie.com, which put together the Paris video and is working on a followup, shared some of his ideas with NEWSWEEK's Ramin Setoodeh:

1. The White House would become the Pink House. "I think she'd do everything pink," McKay says. "It would be pink on the outside, pink carpets, pink furniture, pink jammies. The men on her staff would be cool with it—they'd be shirtless Chippendale types, with names like Leon."

2. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue would become more Parisian in other ways. "Instead of a bowling alley in the basement of the White House, Paris would have a Pilates studio. And, oh, yeah, she'd have foam parties in the Oval Office for the White House staff and old girlfriends from boarding school."

And so on, and so on, and so on. My sides, they are splitting. I'm sure Paris Hilton is so happy that John McCain dragged her into this shit. I also love how they just had to get a dig in on Hillary Clinton at the beginning; after all, all women are interchangeable. This is definitely going to be the most excruciating Presidential race I've ever lived through.

I'm telling you Shakers, it's Stupid Rays from Outer Space.

(Tip of the Energy Dome to Shaker DorothyC.)