I Write Letters

Dear Cheesus,

I don't ask you for much. The occasional prayer for patience or a new pair of OMG Shoez—which is why I hope you will grant me this one humble request.

Please, please let it be true that Cher will play Catwoman in the next installment of Christopher Nolan's Batman franchise.

The 62-year-old singer and actress is reported to be in talks to play Catwoman opposite Christian Bale in the third Batman film from British director Christopher Nolan.

The Oscar-winner will join a cast that includes Johnny Depp as The Riddler as she plays the whip-carrying burglar. The character has also been played by Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry.

A studio executive said: "Cher is Nolan's first choice to play Catwoman. He wants to her to portray her like a vamp in her twilight years."

Dear baby Cheesus, I promise if you make this happen, I will stop touching myself in the naughty places using curse words unbefitting a lady taunting Benjamin H. Grumbles about his Gentleman's Deflation spending money on booze getting hopped up on goofballs with Spudsy and Deeks … um, I promise if you make this happen, I will do something supergood for cheese-based deities everywhere.

A shrine. Of the finest asiago.

Love,
Liss

P.S. SNAP OUT OF IT!