To a Great American Patriot:

Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuu!
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuu!
You're as awesome as an American Eeeeeagllllllle—
Carrying a Bible and a flag, tooooooo!

I loves ya and I don't know what I'd do without ya, darling.

You're really just fooking tremendous.

Happy Birthday!

(Shakesville contributor Todd is one of my dearest friends in the whole world, for more than half my life. He's also big brother to contributor Kenny Blogginz!)

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