Hallelujah!

The Virgin Mary and Baby Jesus have made another important religious appearance in a bag of Rold Gold pretzels!


Three years ago, Michael Fleming found the pretzel and has been saving it ever since.

Finder of Holy Pretzel, Michael Fleming: "I saw a similarity between the pretzel and the photo. … People seem genuinely moved by these images, and they seem to really believe that the Virgin Mary is appearing before them."

Now he and three co-workers have posted it on eBay, to share this remarkable miracle with the rest of the world. Or at least with someone who's got lots of spare cash to burn, since the bidding passed $1,000 in the first hour.

Friend of Holy Pretzel-finder Fleming, Chad "Tanner" Haney: "We're kind of capitalizing on the stupidity of eBay and the fact that people will buy anything. … I mean, this is authentic—straight from the heavens, right on eBay."

Beautiful.

Just to ensure that I go straight to hell without passing Go or collecting $200, I would like to note that I would give my right arm to see Bush choke on the Madonna-Jebus pretzel.

[Holy folks Gone Wild: Weeping and bleeding and appearing in fire and on pancakes, baking sheets, pizza pans, doggy doors, ice, peanuts, x-rays, turtles, ultrasounds, chocolate, dying plants, sheet metal, trees, more trees, more trees, more trees, more trees, more trees, wardrobes, water stains, plates of pasta, drywall, fish, grilled cheese sandwiches, and potato chips.]

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