In which Subway reminds women that the only reason they have to feel good about themselves is being thin, that their self-worth is predicated on their looks, that psychological health is evidently dependent on being pretty, that fat axiomatically equals ugly, and that no man would ever love a fat girl.
Subway: Eat me!
Wev. All I can say is that my fat ass will be over here, Happy-Go-Lucky, as per usual.
* * *
Employee at Counter: May I help you?
Customer: Hi, um, what's your cheeseburger combo meal come with?
Employee at Counter: Bloated feeling, regret, remorse, a bigger waist, loss of self-esteem, loss of boyfriend, shame, years of therapy, fries, and a shake.
Customer: Can I get that without the loss of self-esteem?
Employee in Background: No custom orders!
VO: With those cheap burger combo meals, you could pay in the end. Instead, get a tasty Subway meal, with a new black forest ham or tender roast beef sub, both just 8 grams of fat even with cheese. Subway: Eat fresh!