[Part 18 in an Ongoing Series: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen.]

In which Subway reminds women that the only reason they have to feel good about themselves is being thin, that their self-worth is predicated on their looks, that psychological health is evidently dependent on being pretty, that fat axiomatically equals ugly, and that no man would ever love a fat girl.

Subway: Eat me!

Wev. All I can say is that my fat ass will be over here, Happy-Go-Lucky, as per usual.

* * *


Employee at Counter: May I help you?

Customer: Hi, um, what's your cheeseburger combo meal come with?

Employee at Counter: Bloated feeling, regret, remorse, a bigger waist, loss of self-esteem, loss of boyfriend, shame, years of therapy, fries, and a shake.

Customer: Can I get that without the loss of self-esteem?

Employee in Background: No custom orders!

VO: With those cheap burger combo meals, you could pay in the end. Instead, get a tasty Subway meal, with a new black forest ham or tender roast beef sub, both just 8 grams of fat even with cheese. Subway: Eat fresh!

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