Surging Schmuckabee, who's been busily winning hearts and vaginas with ditties like "Stand Three Paces Behind Your Man" and "Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Independent Women or Faggots," is now the leading GOP contender in Georgia—and, to put a fat old cherry on top of that peachy sundae, he's picked up an endorsement from Jim Gilchrist, founder of the racist fuck-knuckle brigade known as the Minutemen.
Meanwhile, CNN reports that Schmuckabee would lose to the top Democratic contenders by double digits (John Edwards, who also performs best against each of the leading Republicans, absolutely demolishes the Schmuckster by 25 points!), and Drudge is reporting that the Democrats are "holding fire" on him until he gets his party's nomination—at which point they will unleash a torrent of oppo-research on him that will presumably contain the revelations that he had weight loss surgery, keeps detailed sketches for the Feminazi-Queerbait Detention Center tucked inside his Bible, and originally hails from Planet Douchitron.
Please, please, please, GOP—I don't ask you for much, but I beg you: Make this guy your nominee.
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