When You Least Expect It...

SCENE: It's a beautifully sunny day in the amusement park as Ted is being led by his son, Freddy, to his next ride of choice.

Freddy: Come on, Pop! This coaster is supposed to be completely awesome! Can we go on it? PLEASE?!

Ted: Tell you what, Freddy. Let's take a little break since we've been at this all morning.

Freddy: But POP!

Ted: Now, Freddy. The coaster will still be there after we rest, and you need to take it down a notch for a few minutes ok?

Freddy: Okay, Pop!

Ted: That's a good boy. Now, run and get yourself some gumballs.

The boy runs to a nearby gumball machine and throws in some coins. One by one, he scoops out each gumball, then throws them all into his mouth at once.

Freddy: Great idea, Pop! These gumballs are gr—


Freddy explodes.

VOICEOVER: No one wants this to happen to their child. That's why we, The Aldermen, have listened to your pleas to keep terrorists from blowing up your children with explosive gumballs. Gumball terrorism is not a joke—the terrorists could strike the gumball machines of our shores at any moment!

We may have been too late to save little Freddy, but rest assured that The Aldermen will never rest from their sworn duty to protect all citizens (of Dover, New Jersey) from the ever present threat of gumballs of mass destruction.

Paid for by Aldermen Against Unnecessary Gumball Hijinks.

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