One Ticket Straight to Hell, Please

I was searching for a totally different news story when I happened upon this one, which just embodies so much happy pretty preciousness that I couldn't resist sharing it lest I explode with the selfishness of keeping it to myself.

It all started when pug-lover Donna Skoda and her husband were devastated by the death of one of their many pugs. When (this is the actual name, I swear) Bambita Pekita Meskita Chiquita Juanita the Salsa Dancer from San Antonio died, followed by another one of their pugs, Emma, Skoda said she "knew her animal-loving neighbors, Chris and Kirk Raymond, would empathize, but they went one better."

"Chris and Kirk made me a little card, a picture of Emma with a halo over her head," she said. It made her cry, and ultimately gave her a sense of relief, as if her precious pet was in a safe and lovely place.

Kirk Raymond created another card with Jesus holding Bambita in his arms.

"Kirk made it from a stock picture of Jesus in Photoshop," said Skoda, who was moved by his generosity of spirit. "It becomes art. It's very comforting."

So true. I always find it comforting when photographs become real art through the magic of Photoshop.

Naturally, since there's lots of money to be made in commandeering Jesus to comfort people these days, "Photoshop enthusiast" Kirk ("who works at Diebold by day") opened a website to sell his services—and Donna joined the upstart business to help with the printing and framing. The team works "from whatever photos the pet owner happens to have," like the photo of a cat "climbing over the living room couch" that Kirk Photoshopped into a picture of Jesus, who had originally been holding a lamb. Kirk is "skilled enough" to make "the pose seem natural," says Donna—and, while I don't know if I would describe the pictures as natural, per se, I would absolutely describe them as stunning.


But the beauty of these moving Pet Tributes isn't all, bitchez.

The [sic] say their faith cured their cat, Ajax, of lymphoma. Two years ago, Ajax had hard nodules on his spleen and the vets wanted to do exploratory surgery for cancer. The Raymonds decided to take a different approach.

"I have a real strong personal relationship with God," Chris Raymond said. "We held hands and prayed to God to save him."

Ajax is the picture of health today and received no other intervention.

All dogs really do go to heaven! Except the ones that are cats blessed by Jesus to live forever.

Amen.