Fire Department Wants to Charge Extra for Moving Fatties

Shaker Kevin brought this gem to my attention: Fire service may charge for shifting fat people.

The Lancashire (England) Fire and Rescue Service has experienced a "sharp rise" in the number of calls asking them to help other services move extremely obese people -- they've doubled in the past year! -- so they figure they ought to be getting some more money for the heavy lifting.

This means they got 8 calls like that in the last year, as opposed to 4 the previous year. My god! Soon, there will be more fat human beings in need of transportation than there will be kittens up trees!

Hey, you know what else is a majorly expensive pain in the ass that endangers the health of firefighters? Putting out fires. Just imagine all the time and resources firefighters would have available if they never had to do that. Why, they could even get other jobs entirely.

My suggestion? If the Lancashire Fire and Rescue Service is really bothered by this kind of work, they could always move to Gloucester, where the paramedics only joke about calling the fire brigade, while they watch fat people die in their homes. Way more convenient for everyone involved.

Well, almost everyone.

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