Craig-o-Rama!

A judge has ruled that Totally Not Gay Republican Senator Larry Craig's guilty plea stands.

Insert your own wide stance joke here.

Craig says he won't resign. That cracking sound you hear is a massive, Cheshire Cat-like grin spreading across the face of Totally In Love With His Wife Wendy and Not the Prostitute Wendy Who Looks Just Like His Wife Wendy Republican Senator David Vitter. The tearing sound you hear is the GOP leadership ripping its hair out by the fucking roots.

UPDATE: I asked our resident legal eagle Nightshift if he could explain the decision behind the ruling to me, and I thought I'd pass it on in case anyone else was interested: "Legally, the Senator was always fighting an uphill battle; guilty pleas are ONLY accepted after the judge, on the record and in open court, questions the defendant, who must repeatedly affirm that he understands the charges, his rights, that there are no guaranteed sentences (only guaranteed recommendations by the DA), and so forth. The official record should therefore be full of Craig saying repeatedly that he wants to plead guilty and waives his rights, all of which are painstakingly spelled out. At least, that's how a felony charge would work. At the misdemeanor level, it could be less stringent, but there is no question that Craig 'voluntarily' entered his plea by the legal definition. Allowing a withdrawal is very rare, to my knowledge."