Oh, Minerva! Get me to the fainting couch tout de suite! I do declare I'm all in a-dither and quickly developing a case of the vapors after hearing the alarming and scandalous news that the Justice Department opposes net neutrality!

The Justice Department said today that Internet service providers should be allowed to charge a fee for priority Web traffic.

The agency told the Federal Communications Commission, which is reviewing high-speed Internet practices, that it is opposed to "Net neutrality," the principle that all Internet sites should be equally accessible to any Web user.

Several phone and cable companies, such as AT&T Inc., Verizon Communications Inc. and Comcast Corp., have previously said they want the option to charge some users more money for loading certain content or Web sites faster than others.
Oh, my stars and garters! The unmitigated shock of it all! Who could have foreseen the Bush administration's Justice Department coming down on the side of more corporate welfare?!

And Cernig is suggesting the whole thing is quid pro quo for all those wiretaps! Heavens to Mergatroid—what cynicism! It can't be true!

My word, Francine, if we actually had a real opposition party that wasn't also snugly in the pockets of corporate America, the fight over net neutrality might come to fisticuffs!

Good thing we've got the Democrats, so we can avoid that nasty business, eh, Myrtle?

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