Oh, the pain! The pain! The unbearable pain of a dream deferred, of it all being over before it even began. I weep with the agony of loss as I report with deep regret that Newt Gingrich will not run for president after all.

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich will not run for president in 2008 after determining he could not legally explore a bid and remain as head of his tax-exempt political organization, a spokesman said Saturday.

"Newt is not running," spokesman Rick Tyler said. "It is legally impermissible for him to continue on as chairman of American Solutions (for Winning the Future) and to explore a campaign for president."

Gingrich decided "to continue on raising the challenges America faces and finding solutions to those challenges" as the group's chairman, Tyler said, "rather than pursuing the presidency."
Good point. How could the nation possibly suffer the devastating blow of losing all the amazing solutions being provided by, uh, what's it called again? Oh, right: American Solutions. They're awesome.

So, basically, I'm guessing that Gingrich looked at the range of responses to his announcement (approximately: lukewarm to cruelly mocking) and figured it wasn't worth his time or effort to become a giant loser. Gianter.

Worst trial balloon evah.

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