Call a Cab, Douchebag

Conservative Wank Fantasy Jack Bauer Actor Kiefer Sutherland was charged with drunk driving today in a case that could result in jail time—because, when he was arrested Tuesday, he was still on probation from another incident from 2004.

I don't actually have any reason to post this, except that it's a good excuse to note that Kiefer Sutherland is my favorite famous drunk of my generation. He's totally the Gen X Peter O'Toole. Evidence?

Pants down at Dimples karaoke bar in LA

But that's just the appetizer. Here's the entrée:


Voice Off-Camera: Hey, Kiefer. You're a pirate, man.

Kiefer: That would explain everything. [jumps into tree]


Of course, as much as I adore his drunken antics, he either needs to get help and get sober or use some of his nonillions of dollars to hire a goddamned driver before he kills someone.

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