Headline: Spouse Rules
Subhead: Advice for the ladies who seek to become first lady.
Opening Paragraph: "It's gotten catty out there. Jeri Thompson is a trophy wife, as is Cindy McCain. Michelle Obama is too offhand and irreverent when speaking of her husband, and Judith Giuliani is a puppy-stapling princess. Even Hillary Clinton was a focus, for wearing an outfit that suggested, however faintly, that underneath her clothing she may be naked, and have breasts."
Dear Peggy Noonan:
Hillary Clinton is not running for first lady. She is running for president. Please keep her and her breasts out of your bullshit, retrofuck advice column to the female spouses of male candidates.
With all due contempt,
Melissa McEwan
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