Cheney's Defibrillator Speaks Out

In a candid interview today, Vice President Cheney's defibrillator, Fibby, shared a few thoughts about how tough a job it has in keeping its host alive:
I'll tell you that it hasn't been easy. After talking with some of the other guys, I thought it would be a shoe-in. You know - hang around and listen to tunes until the heart takes a dive. Then, a little zap here and there and the host is back to work. No problems, right?

Well, with this Cheney guy, it's been a real pain in the ass. All of my iTunes downloads getting interrupted because I have to keep zapping this fucking guy like every other day! Sure, you know about that incident last year, and another more recent one, but there are plenty more.

I've been working so hard that my friggin' battery's going already! Can you imagine how embarrassing it is for me to have to phone in divine assistance to cover for me?

At interview's end, Fibby said that it would soon be setting up a petition online to request a transfer to a new host where it could get some more rest. Fibby can be a great defibrillator and companion for the right person.

Let's hope that Fibby's battery transplant goes off without a hitch. For Fibby's sake.

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