Johnny Appleseed

It's amazing how frequently misogyny manages to offend me on both a philosophical and linguistic level—and this story not only takes the proverbial cake, but chews it up, swallows it, digests it, and poops it out all over my last good nerve.

Ricky Lackey has six children on the way.

Just don’t call them sextuplets – they're all with different women.

When Hamilton County Common Pleas Judge Melba Marsh asked Lackey during sentencing Friday on a charge of attempted theft how many children he had, the 25-year-old said, "None, but I have six on the way."

A stunned Marsh tried to clarify. "Are you marrying a woman with six children?" she asked.

"No, I be concubining," he said.
I be concubining. Are you fucking shitting me?

If I were any one of the six women pregnant with one of this daft jackass' six impending offspring, all due between August and October, I'd be "frying panning" him upside his witless head.

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