Survivor: Race War!

When you've got a reality show that's awfully long in the tooth - thirteen "seasons" - and your previous season had the worst ratings in the history of the series, what do you do? You play the race card! Behold, Survivor: Cook Islands:

The new season of "Survivor" will be a race among races.

At the start of the reality show's 13th edition, "Survivor: Cook Islands," 20 contestants will be organized into four tribes divided along ethnic lines -- black, white, Hispanic and Asian, CBS announced Wednesday.

The tribes, as usual, will merge later in the season, which debuts September 14, the network said.

Series host Jeff Probst clearly has no shame. But he does have chutzpah*.

"It's not just 18 white people," Probst told the magazine. "Suddenly you have new slang, new rituals--people doing things like making fire in ways that haven't been done on Survivor. I think we have a season where people will say you can never go back to what you were before."

At long last, white America will learn the occult secret of how the little-understood Hispanics make fuego in their secretive barrios! We can hardly wait!

*A word from a culture strangely unrepresented on this brave new multi-culti Survivor.

(Cross-posted with a heavy sigh.)

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