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"I am NOT a poodle!"

(How come every picture I see of Tony Blair looks like he spends his evenings doing torch drag? His make-up never looks right. It reminds me of this guy with whom I used to work who was a drag queen and thought it was some big secret. When he finally "came out" to me, he was flabbergasted that I wasn't surprised. "How did you know?!" "Because you come into work with fingernail glue on your nails, foundation in the roots of your hair, and the gray traces of badly washed mascara around your eyes." "Well, fuck me, Sherlock!")

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