Scientists have named the chickenhawk on the left “Tony Snow” and the chickenhawk on the right “Dan Bartlett.” The reason they look so skittish is because war zones are not the chickenhawks' natural habitat. These two were misled into the unfamiliar territory by the leader of their pack, called “George Bush,” who was searching for some red meat to throw to all the little baby chickenhawks. My source has told me that we shouldn’t worry about these two adorable little guys, though, because they will soon be returned to the safety of their natural environment, behind large desks, where their asses will unclench and resume the spreading natural to chickenhawks.
