Ding, Dong, the Douche is Gone

Let's all give "The Hammer" a collective "The Finger." Haw, haw!

This is a great day for America... Tom DeLay is gone, gone, GONE from Congress. Now, I'm not completely naive; I realize that just because he's not in Congress doesn't mean he won't be trying to influence anything. But this is a step in the right direction, no?

Anyway. I'm just glad the fuck is gone.

Of course, he couldn't leave without a healthy amount of whinging and sour grapes:

DeLay leaves Congress with defense of Partisanship

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Fallen Majority Leader Tom DeLay of Texas left the U.S. House of Representatives he once led on Thursday with a ringing defense of conservatism and his no-holds barred brand of partisanship.

"Partisanship ... properly understood is not a symptom of a democracy's weakness but of its health and strength, especially from the perspective of a political conservative," said the former Republican leader, who has been indicted on campaign finance charges in Texas.

So, Partisanship Is Okay If You're A Republican. Glad to hear Tommy vocalizing what we've all known for years now. Tom then went on to prove that he's a true Conservative, what with being completely blind to the orgy of money bloat that's been going on since his gaggle of slimeballs took over:

"Conservatives, especially, less enamored of government's lust for growth, must remember that our principles must always drive our agenda, and not the other way around."

Always leave 'em with a joke, eh Tom? But wait, get out the fainting couch:

DeLay excoriated liberal ideology as always wanting more government, more taxes but also said he recognized that liberals too had a "great tradition in this country" and were motivated by patriotism.

Zuh? Call me a cynic, but this sounds more like "Please stop attacking me" than any genuine compliment to liberals. Either that, or the editor cut the following sentence: "DeLay then laughed so hard that his rectum prolapsed."

After his indictment last September, he at first left his leadership post on a temporary basis and later made it permanent. In April he also announced his resignation from Congress, effective Friday, June 9, as more links emerged between his office and disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Two former aides have pleaded guilty to corruption charges.

DeLay has not been charged in the still-unfolding Abramoff investigation and he has repeatedly said the Texas indictment is politically motivated. He said he had served "at all times honorably and honestly" and that he was leaving Congress with few regrets and no doubts.

"Honorably and honestly." *cough* Uh, okay Tom... if you need that, I'll give it to you.

I love this:

House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi of California said DeLay's legacy was "a culture of corruption." Asked if he had any parting words for DeLay, the number two Democratic leader Steny Hoyer of Maryland said: "Good-bye."

Heh. Less is more.

Update: Driftglass has a much better post on this topic, along with the BEST PICTURE EVER.

(Do you know the way to San Cross-post?)