Shakes Makes Sense of It All*

First, a little quote of the day for you: “Marriage is under vicious attack…from the forces of hell itself…”

Thanks for the hot tip, Dr. Dobson. He’s always so helpful.

Meanwhile, Oddjob pointed to this post at Sully’s place, which shares a little tidbit about the Antichrist in the Left Behind franchise—he’s conceived by a woman and “the genetic material” of two men; her husband and his gay lover. Interesting. I see that whole contempt for science thing continues unabated. The evil spawn then goes on to—I shit you not—become the head of the UN after the Rapture, thusly rendering a parody of the Left Behind books a total impossibility.

So the Antichrist has partially (1/3?) gay DNA in conservative Christian fiction, and marriage is under attack from the forces of hell and from gays (who will destroy the earth) in conservative Christian “reality.”

This is all mooshing together in my mind to create a Big Gay Satan, which in turn conjures The South Park Movie, in which a Big Gay Satan is Saddam Hussein’s lover, which leads me to believe that the conservative platform, including both domestic and foreign policy, is all based on a movie subtitled “Bigger, Longer, and Uncut,” a cheeky penis reference, which reminds me that our president’s name is Bush, a euphemism for a vagina, and now it all makes sense why we’re well and truly fucked.

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* Or loses her mind once and for all.