Say a prayer for the youth of America

It’s a difficult world out there for young people. What with “Internet,” the liberal controlled media, and society’s baffling acceptance of homosexuals (who, in some places are actually allowed to marry like a natural couple, if you can bear to think on it) as just another minority group, it’s difficult to find one’s True Path through the dual mindfields of tolerance and easy access information.

Which is why I’m proud to bring you Truth for Youth:

“Preventing truth decay”… THE TRUTH FOR YOUTH… the entire New Testament along with powerful, full color comics that are packed with the absolute truth regarding moral issues young people are faced with everyday. Sometimes the truth hurts. But you’ve got to deal with it. If you can handle the truth…

A quick perusal of the “powerful” comics included in this volume shows us that the Truth, which was apparently so important to reinforce that the word is used five times in the product description, shines its light on Pornography, Homosexuality, Safe Sex, Abortion, Drugs, Peer Pressure (which seems somewhat ironic) and that horrific destroyer of teen minds, Rock Music. Nice to see that some things never change.

As someone who spends a good portion of his day with a homosexual- it’s true, or rather, it’s Truth, and I’ve got to deal with it- I decided to check out the comic, just to see what I could learn from it. And wow, I learned a lot! I learned that the Bible tells us to “avoid angry and violent people,” and that violent skinheads and the peaceful gay protestors they attack are equally sinful in the eyes of the Lord. Oh, and it turns out that “gay” is actually just politically correct whitewashing of homosexual, much like “pro-choice” is a whitewashing of abortion supporters; and that being accepting and open-minded is really you’re way of showing your “chilly lack of love for God.

I can’t wait to tell my gay- excuse me, homosexual friends what I’ve learned. Listen, I’ll say, you know how you spent much of your childhood mocked and abused by your peers? And how even today, the majority of our country is so terrified by you that they’re willing to re-elect a lying imbecile to office just so they can prevent you from ever having your love officially acknowledged? Well, that was all simply a choice on your part. You decided to fall in love with Marcus, who had that lisp and kept biting on his pen when you worked on algebra problems together and who just broke your heart when he started going out with that slut in homeroom. You decided that you wanted to be with Sharon, even if you stuck with Tom because it made your parents happy. The thousand breakings that occur over the span of any life that spend its time reaching out to connect with strangers, the endless surfacing and resurfacing and terrible fear of drowning alone- all of that doesn’t mean anything for you homosexuals, because you made your choice, and it’s a sin, and for god’s sake, even if you were ten, you should have known better.

Young people really need to know this. They need to know that the choices we aren’t even aware we’re making are wrong, but that it’s okay, we’ll be forgiven for our sins, just as soon as someone finishes informing us what they are.