The “Remake” Genre is Officially Dead

First of all, it’s pathetic that’s I can even reference a “remake” genre and know that everyone will know what I’m talking about, but after everything from The Brady Bunch to Bewitched, and Psycho to Starsky & Hutch, and Planet of the Apes to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (damn, Tim Burton!—although I liked CCF), how could anyone not know what I mean? Remakes are fair enough, when enough time has passed and a new treatment might be vaguely interesting, but now any old piece of shit for which some hacks can get the rights is being turned into a film—and often without the irony on which a bigscreen version of, say, The Dukes of Hazard should be predicated.

This “remake everything!” genre never should have existed in the first place; so few of them are even as good as the original works on which they’re based, no less better—i.e. worthy of a remake. But now it really, really, really needs to die, and here’s why: They’re remaking Revenge of the Nerds.

Dudes, Curtis Armstrong still looks young enough to play Booger as the college-student-who-looks-middle-aged that he was in the first go-round of this franchise. Honestly, the last installment in the series was just a little over a decade ago, and it was a waste of celluloid nearly unmatched in its profligacy. Leave the Nerds in their peace for awhile. In fact, forever.

I swear the remakes are coming so fast and furious now that the ubiquitous Ben Stiller will start having to make 12 dreadful films a year instead of his usual 6, since by June, he’ll need to be start gearing up for the remake of Duplex.

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