No, seriously... What... the... fuck??

CA Woman Spanked at Work Sues for $1.2 Million (bolds mine)
FRESNO, Calif. - Lawyers for a woman who was spanked in front of her co-workers as part of what her employer said was a camaraderie-building exercise asked a jury Wednesday for at least $1.2 million for the humiliation she claimed to have suffered.
Zuh? A camaraderie-building exercise? Whatever happened to "trust falls," and that other cheesy stuff?

I like how they threw that "claimed to have suffered" in there, as well. She must be exaggerating in order to shake down her company; it's highly suspicious that someone could be humiliated after being treated like this:
Janet Orlando, 53, quit her job at the home security company Alarm One Inc. in Fresno and sued, alleging discrimination, assault, battery and infliction of emotional distress.

Employees were paddled with rival companies' yard signs as part of a contest that pitted sales teams against each other, according to court documents. The winners poked fun at the losers, throwing pies at them, feeding them baby food, making them wear diapers and swatting their buttocks.

Juh?? No, seriously, who in the world thought up this "camaraderie-building exercise?" Who the fuck in their right minds would think for a second that this was a good idea?
"No reasonable middle-aged woman would want to be put up there before a group of young men, turned around to show her buttocks, get spanked and called abusive names, and told it was to increase sales and motivate employees," her lawyer, Nicholas "Butch" Wagner, said in his closing argument.

Of course not. Because thinking that doing something like this to your employees will increase sales and motivate employees is fucking crazy.
Lawyers for Alarm One, an Anaheim-based, 300-employee company, said the spankings were part of a voluntary program to build camaraderie and were not discriminatory because they were given to both male and female workers.

Oh, for the luvva crumb cake. Look out folks, it's the "She's just being a sensitive female" defense! You gotta love that one, it's a classic. Apparently, if you're treated at fucking work the same way you'd be treated at the receiving end of a particularly stupid fraternity initiation and you get upset about it, you're just being a silly little woman. My mistake.

And by the way... if you've worked in an office at any point, I'm sure you realize that these "voluntary" motivational exercises are rarely "voluntary."

Seriously, what knucklehead thought that this would possibly be a good idea? Who the hell though that you could do this to people and no one would get upset? And who the fuck approved this and let them go ahead with it?
"This is being done for one reason and one reason only - money," said K. Poncho Baker, the company's lawyer.

Of course it is. Because no one would suffer humiliation as a result of something like this, and there's no way it could create a hostile work environment. You fucking douchebag.

Now, I'm willing to bet that if Orlando wins this case, you're going to be hearing a lot of "get over it" talk. Come to think of it, you'll probably be hearing that kind of talk throughout the entire ordeal. Blowhards that dribble this nonsense deserve to be... well, put in diapers, fed baby food, pied, and spanked in front of their co-workers. Let's see how they like it.

These actions are an exercise in humiliation. They have absolutely nothing at all to do with good business. Pick up any book on motivating employees; I guarantee you'll never see "humiliate them in front of their co-workers" recommended as a motivational exercise.

The amount is moot. A hundered bucks... $1.5 million... this is not about money. This is about forcing a woman to give up her dignity in front of her co-workers for a cheap fucking laugh.

Oh, and by the way...
Alarm One officials ceased the practice in 2004, the year Orlando sued, after another employee complained of being injured, according to court records.

If your insane, overzealous "motivational exercise" is injuring employees, then that would be assault and battery.
You fucking douchebags.

(Someone reached in and grabbed it... it was a Rock Cross-Post!)

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