Now that your picture's in the paper...

Well, now that the heady rush of my anointment ("Hey, would you like to-" "OHMIGOD, YES WOO-HOO! SHAKESIS 4EVAR!!!" "Um, right...") is passing, it occurs to me that I should probably generate some actual content. Admittedly, yes, that picture of me in the sidebar really is hot enough to justify its own existence, but I'm committed to more than that.

A couple of short points, to get the ball rolling:

1.Scary Movie 4 is the number one movie in the country. Way to go us. It's like touching a hot stove once, and then touching it three more times and each time thinking, "C'mon, what're the odds of getting burned again?" Charlie Brown had less patience with Lucy and that damn football, and he wasn't shelling out 10 bucks for movie tickets; are people so terrified of anything new that they'll swallow crap so long as they recognize the brand name?

Or maybe I'm thinking about this the wrong way. It's not like the Scary Movie series is known for its rich continuity. Perhaps they'll keep making more until every person in the country has seen at least one; and perhaps on that day we will rise together as a nation, heads held high, and proclaim, "Recreating Iconic Scenes In Recent Popular Films Does Not A Parody Make," and thus shalt we be forever rid of lazy 90 minute fart jokes with pretensions to plot.

2. Two potentially interesting movies coming out this week: American Dreamz and Silent Hill. (There's also The Sentinel, but the plot- Michael Douglas is a disgraced Secret Service agent trying to stop a conspiracy against the president- sounds a bit too much like In the Line of Fire 2: the Repeatening.) American Dreamz is at least trying to do something different, which I respect it for, and I really like the cast a lot. But I dunno. I doubt Weitz will forgoe sappy togetherness for the satire this kind of subject needs, and I really have no interest in watching the "Bush is dumb but nice" meme be further prolonged. He's not a clown, and painting him as such serves only to make it next to impossible for strong criticism to have any sort of impact. You can be mean and stupid, folks.

Definitely going to see Silent Hill, though. I've never played the game, but the trailer was cool, and, well, I love horror movies.

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