News Flash! Fundies Have No Sense of Humor Whatsoever!

But you knew that already!

Creature's Picture Irks Board of Ed Member

What creature, you ask? Why, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, of course. Holy creature to Pastafarians everywhere, and the bane of Fundies that take themselves too goddamned seriously.

State Board of Education member Connie Morris took exception Wednesday to a picture of a made-up creature that satirizes the state's new science standards hanging on a Stucky Middle School teacher's door.

Fellow board member Sue Gamble told The Eagle that Morris asked for the picture to be removed.

The creature, called the Flying Spaghetti Monster, is the creation of Bobby Henderson of Corvallis, Ore. It looks like a clump of spaghetti with two eyes sticking out of the top and two meatballs flanking the eyes.

Henderson created the entity and an accompanying mythology on the origin of mankind to make fun of Kansas' recent debate over the teaching of criticisms of evolution, including intelligent design.

In November, the board voted 6-4 to allow criticisms of evolution to be taught in Kansas schools.

Morris, who voted for the new science standards, saw the picture during the tour. She did not return phone calls for this report.

You can tell where this is going. Fundie sees picture, satire hits a little too close to home, Fundie becomes Whiny Fundie and demands that picture be taken down.

"When we went into that classroom, students were looking at rock formations," Gamble said. "Connie stopped to talk to a teacher and I moved on. That was when I was aware of the flyer. I thought 'she's probably going to say something to the teacher.' "

Read: "I knew this uptight bitch would have to open her yapper about this, even though it's obviously a joke." It's a FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER, for chrissakes.

The monster's picture has hung on the door since September or October and was put up there as a joke, Mousley said.

"It's a parody," he said. "It's just making fun of anti-evolution."

Mousley said he doesn't teach students about the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Best line in the article. Perhaps he should teach his students about the FSM... after all, he can teach about theories critical of evolution, right? They didn't specify that it had to be the Christian theory, did they? (Although they might have... I wouldn't put it past these twits.) Maybe a touch of the surreal would help his students realize that the debate is completely stupid.

I'm just sayin'.

Gamble said she told the principal that it was his decision whether the monster could stick around.

"I advised the principal that Morris has no authority," she said. "I told him to deal with his staff as he saw fit, not by what a state board member says."

Board chairman Steve Abrams, who voted for the new standards, didn't see the picture but said he thinks that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is silly.

"Personally, I think it's juvenile," he said.

DUH. It's a FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER.

The picture was still on the door at the end of the school day Wednesday.

And hopefully it's still there. Jebus. Are these Fundies really so thin-skinned that they can't take the slightest joke? What a bunch of crybabies.

Randy Mousley: You rule. The only people that are going to keep this country from going completely insane are teachers like yourself.

Connie Morris: The Sense of Humor bus is here in five minutes. Be on it. I'll buy you a token.

(On top of spaghetti... all covered with cross-posts...)