“Lust Stalks You Like a Beast”

Now, at Shakes Manor, we consider this A Good Thing. Being caught in the grips of the beast of lust is considered An Even Better Thing, for all the reasons you nasty, fellating, clitty-licking, ass-pounding, Kama Sutra-reading, multiple orgasm-having progressives know, resisting as you do the notion that sex is meant to be a beautiful boring thing to be shared by a man and his wife for the express purpose of babymaking in the god-sanctioned missionary position only.

Dr. James Dobson, however, knows that for the chaste and decent sheep in his flock, the stalking lust-beast is a Very Bad Thing. Especially for teenage boys.

Lust stalks you like a beast, attacking at every opportunity, attempting to poison your life with its self-centered cravings. We're convinced that it's a teen guy's No. 1 battle. Some Christian boys even feel defeated, abandoned by God and riddled with guilt for their weaknesses. Yet we've met others - countless others - who are winning the war. What's their secret? How are many teens able to stand strong, while others are giving up?

The answer is consistent wait training.

Wait training! Get it?! Oh, Dr. Dobson—you cunning linguist.

Guys who are victorious have learned to face present and future temptations head-on. They've put into practice a purity game plan that works!

A purity game plan. Just what every teen boy dreams of.

Apparently, it’s too much to ask that teens be treated as more than throbbing, hormone-addled berserkoids who will have sex with anything that moves if they’re not repressed with imagery of fighting their urges in a grand battle of good vs. evil. Most of us, however, managed to make it through our teenage years without becoming sex-drenched nutcases—including those who would have been were it not for a lack of opportunity. A little good (and fact-based) information goes a long way.

As for repression, well, we know where that gets you. Good conservatives, one and all.

Pam’s got more from Dr. Dobson’s Focus on the Family website, Breakaway.