Help! Mom! These books are seriously freaking me out!

I get all sorts of interesting email these days, and in this morning's batch of goodies, I find a World Ahead Media Alert introducing a new children's book from Katharine DeBrecht, author of the tour de force Help! Mom! There are Liberals Under my Bed! Her newest outing, which lands in bookstores today, is called Help! Mom! Hollywood's in my Hamper! and it sounds like a good one.

With Academy Awards being handed out to movies about racist cops, gay cowboys, and communist sympathizers, Hollywood has declared an outright war on traditional values. But instead of getting angry at the movie business, parents should teach their kids to laugh at it, this according to best-selling children's author Katharine DeBrecht…

DeBrecht -- whose book turned heads in Hollywood after being given out in Oscar party gift bags on Sunday night -- satirizes Barbra Streisand, Madonna, Tom Cruise, Britney Spears, Jack Nicholson, and Sean Penn with cartoon look-alikes who appear in the hamper of two young sisters to tell them how to behave and to sell them useless trinkets. The girls meet a number of other goofy celebrities along the way and in the process come to realize that stars don't always know best.

"The liberal elites running Hollywood have no intention of ceasing their relentless attack on traditional values," claims DeBrecht, a mother of three. "It's almost impossible for parents to block out all of the left-wing messages that Hollywood and its media friends are bombarding our kids with. The solution is for parents to teach their children to laugh at Hollywood and to regard celebrities as silly people."

The liberal elites of Hollywood...including Britney Spears? I believe that's the same Britney Spears who was quoted as saying, "Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision he makes and should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens," with the "our president" in question being George Bush. Good research there.

Of course, I can't dismiss DeBrecht's larger point. Hollywood is filled exclusively with liberal loonies like Ronald Regan Sonny Bono Clint Eastwood Arnold Schwarzenegger George Clooney who run for office make movies with radical liberal themes, like "McCarthyism is icky." And just what do you have to say for yourself, George Clooney?

I would say that, you know, we are a little bit out of touch in Hollywood every once in a while. I think it's probably a good thing. We're the ones who talk about AIDS when it was just being whispered, and we talked about civil rights when it wasn't really popular. And we, you know, we bring up subjects. This Academy, this group of people gave Hattie McDaniel an Oscar in 1939 when blacks were still sitting in the backs of theaters. I'm proud to be a part of this Academy. Proud to be part of this community, and proud to be out of touch.

Oh. Well all right then.

Just keep your extremist agenda out of the hampers of children, will you, you pervert?

(Crossposted at AlterNet PEEK.)